Alfie Patten Not the Daddy
In a predictable turn of events it has been revealed that 13-year-old Alfie Patten is not Britain's youngest father.
Baby-faced Alfie shot to fame last month with reports he had fathered a child with 15-year-old Eastbourne village bike Chantelle Steadman.
A few days later, after the morally corrupt Patten and Steadman families had cashed in on the story, rumours started to surface that Alfie wasn't actually the father, but rather the victim of an elaborate scam designed to extort money from less desirable sections of the UK tabloid press (AKA The Sun and Daily Mirror).
The story drifted into the ether when a High Court Judge imposed reporting restrictions to prevent the media from exploited innocent little Alfie and Chantelle any further.
As the rest of the western world wakes to news that Alfie isn't baby Maisie's father I'm sure the judge won't mind me sharing the story.
Baby-faced Alfie shot to fame last month with reports he had fathered a child with 15-year-old Eastbourne village bike Chantelle Steadman.
A few days later, after the morally corrupt Patten and Steadman families had cashed in on the story, rumours started to surface that Alfie wasn't actually the father, but rather the victim of an elaborate scam designed to extort money from less desirable sections of the UK tabloid press (AKA The Sun and Daily Mirror).
The story drifted into the ether when a High Court Judge imposed reporting restrictions to prevent the media from exploited innocent little Alfie and Chantelle any further.
As the rest of the western world wakes to news that Alfie isn't baby Maisie's father I'm sure the judge won't mind me sharing the story.



2 comments:
Ohh the surprise!!!
Too bad all involved can't all be neutered, including the tabloid journalists!
:D
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