Trick or Treat?

I wrote so eloquently last year about my hatred of Halloween that I'll not reiterate the point here and now.

I notice this year an increasing number of parents accompanying their urchins, as they trawl the streets like vermin looking for easy pickings. Maybe the parental presence isn't all that surprising, considering we still have a rapist in our midst around these parts? Maybe it's just reinforcing the moral corruption of society, that parents consider it acceptable for their children to beg at strangers' doors?

Bah humbug.

Jonathan Ross Spared by the BBC

Jonathan Ross remains the BBC's highest earning star, despite the furore surrounding lewd messages left on Andrew Sachs' answerphone.

The fate of the BBC's £6 million star was decided in a crunch meeting by members of the BBC Trust - the organisation tasked with ensuring licence fee payers get value for money.

Ross was a guest on Russell Brand's Radio 2 show, which was broadcast on 18th October. The pre-recorded show included a segment where Brand 'interviewed' Mr Sachs by leaving messages on the veteran Fawlty Towers actor's answerphone.

During one message Ross blurted out that Brand had "f**ked your granddaughter" - a reference to a former relationship between Brand and Mr Sachs' granddaughter Georgina Baillie. The pair then boasted further about the conquest, before suggesting that Mr Sachs would probably hang himself at the news.

The 18th October broadcast attracted only a handful of complaints at the time, but the situation gathered momentum in response to a Mail on Sunday article published a week later. Since then several high profile politicians and national newspapers have waded into the row, with the overwhelming majority condemning Brand and Ross's juvenile antics.

The media feeding frenzy forced BBC Director General Mark Thompson to suspend Brand and Ross from the airwaves for what he described as a "gross lapse of taste". The BBC's late intervention has attracted further criticism of the Corporation's lack of accountability and management.

At the latest count there have been more than 35,000 complaints about the Russell Brand show.

Ross's future at the Corporation had been in doubt after his involvement in the stunt. He has been suspended for 12 weeks by BBC bosses.

Elsewhere at the BBC Lesley Douglas, Controller of Radio 2, has resigned from the Corporation. The feeling is very much that Ms Douglas, who probably had no input whatsoever into the offending broadcast, has fallen on her sword to save the BBC further embarrassment.

Sword of Damocles Hangs Over Ross and Brand

Georgina Baillie, granddaughter of veteran actor Andrew Sachs, has spoken out about the offensive messages Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross left on Sachs' answerphone.

In the lewd messages Ross blurted out that Brand had "f**ked your granddaughter" and joked that Sachs would probably commit suicide at the news.

Georgina told The Sun that the stunt had left her grandfather "distraught" and that she wants the pair to be sacked.

"Russell Brand has embarrassed me by making a private relationship very public in the cruellest way imaginable.

"We were lovers but I trusted him as a friend as well. He has betrayed me for a few cheap laughs and left my grandfather distraught.

"Is that what the BBC calls entertainment?"

Political pressure has been mounting on the BBC after both the Prime Minister and Leader of the Opposition condemned the unacceptable broadcast.

David Cameron was particularly critical of prank, reinforcing frosty-relations between the Conservatives and BBC.

Speaking yesterday David said: "I think the BBC have got some very straightforward questions to answer. The main question is why did they allow this programme to be broadcast, given that it was pre-recorded?

"So we need to know who made the decision to broadcast it? How high up the editorial chain did it go? Who examined it? Why did they conclude that it should be broadcast?

"The BBC needs to be transparent about how it takes decisions and explain its decision-taking process so that everyone can see what more needs to be done."

Ofcom is investigating the content of Russell Brand's show, which was broadcast on the 18th October. The regulator could fine the BBC as much as £250,000 if it is found to have breached their Broadcasting Code.

The BBC, mindful of the fact there will be a Conservative Government in less than 2-years time, will be compelled to act.

Update @ 11.20 am:
Both Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross have been suspended by the BBC. BBC Director General Mark Thompson has issued a press release, the text of which will be published here shortly.

Thompson press release:
"I would like to add my own personal and unreserved apology to Andrew Sachs, his family and to licence fee payers for the completely unacceptable broadcast on BBC Radio 2.

"BBC audiences accept that, in comedy, performers attempt to push the line of taste. However, this is not a marginal case. It is clear from the views expressed by the public that this broadcast has caused severe offence and I share that view.

"Since Sunday, I have been in regular contact with the senior executives I tasked with handling this issue. The investigation that I instructed Tim Davie to conduct is nearing completion, and I am returning to London to review the findings and, in the coming days, announce what action we will take.

"In the meantime, I have decided that it is not appropriate for either Russell Brand or Jonathan Ross to continue broadcasting on the BBC until I have seen the full report of the actions of all concerned.

"This gross lapse of taste by the performers and the production team has angered licence payers. I am determined that we satisfy them that any lessons will be learnt and appropriate action taken. I have been asked to report to the Trust's Editorial Standards Committee before the end of this week and will discuss with the Trust the findings of the report and the actions I propose."

A New 'Brand' of BBC Entertainment

Not-so-funny-men Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand are under increasing scrutiny after leaving a series of lewd messages on the answerphone of ex-Fawlty Towers star Andrew Sachs.

Brand played the pre-recorded messages during his Saturday evening Radio 2 show earlier this month. Amazingly the messages, which included untrue sexual references to Brand and Sachs' granddaughter, were left on Sachs' answerphone two days earlier and had been vetted by BBC staff before being broadcast.

The Times has helpfully published a transcript of Brand and Ross's conversation.

Following an insincere apology from Brand and mass public outcry the BBC was forced into issuing a humiliating apology of its own yesterday. The Corporation described duo's performance as "unacceptable and offensive" material.

A Radio 2 spokeswoman said: "We have received a letter of a complaint from Mr Sachs' agent and would like to sincerely apologise to Mr Sachs for the offence caused.

"We recognise that some of the content broadcast was unacceptable and offensive.

"We are reviewing how this came about and are responding to Mr Sachs personally. We also apologise to listeners for any offence caused."

The broadcasting regulator Ofcom has began an investigation into the Russell Brand Show, which aired on 18th October. As of today the BBC has received almost 2,000 complaints about the show, with a similar number of complaints being received directly by Ofcom.

I can not imagine what was going through the vacuous heads of Brand and Ross when they performed their childish prank. Sadly I don't anticipate an organisation as ineffectual as the BBC to take much action against them.

Legal Threat Over eBay Feedback

An eBay buyer is facing legal action after leaving negative feedback for the seller in one of his transactions.

Chris Read purchased a mobile phone using the popular online auction site. According to Mr Read the phone arrived damaged and was a different model to that advertised. Mr Read returned the phone to seller Joel Jones and received a complete refund.

That should have been an end to the matter, but things took a turn for the worse when Mr Read left negative feedback for the transaction. His comment read: "Item was scratched, chipped and not the model advertised."

Mr Jones, who trades as Onsalexuk on eBay, was obviously upset by the public criticism and threatened Mr Read with legal action unless he retracted the comment. Understandably Mr Read refused to budge, stating that his comment was an honest appraisal of the transaction.

A few days later Mr Read received a letter from legal harlots acting on behalf of Mr Jones. It read: "The negative feedback you left on October 3 regarding Samsung F700 was unfair and is damaging to my business's reputation and ability to trade.

"We require a signed statement accepting that the feedback is unfair."

Mr Read is adamant he's not retracting his comment and Mr Jones is equally adamant that he'll follow it through to court if need be.

My opinion: If Mr Read did receive the wrong phone then he's definitely entitled to a refund, which I'm pleased to see Mr Jones honoured. Gentlemanly conduct would have ended the matter there without the need to resort to negative feedback. However, despite me disagreeing with his decision, Mr Read was entitled to express his opinion via the feedback system. In offering a refund Mr Jones obviously acknowledged that Mr Read had a genuine reason for dissatisfaction. That being the case it's difficult to see why he (Mr Jones) is so cheesed off at the feedback left.

So, in short, they're both in the wrong: Read for squealing after being refunded and Jones for limping off to the lawyers at the first whiff of criticism.

So what do you think?

Gardener on Knife Charges

This morning I was reading Metro (the poor man's alternative to a proper newspaper) when I caught a story about a gardener who was hauled into court on charges of possessing an offensive weapon in a public place.

Peter Drew, 49, was pulled over by the police on his way to a job. As the police like to do they ended up ferreting about in his van and found some tools of the gardening trade (quel surprise). The items included a machete and scythe, which Mr Drew used for clearing weeds.

You're probably thinking there's nothing hugely abnormal or unreasonable with that - a gardener having sharp pointy things for dealing with weeds - and you'd be absolutely right.

Unfortunately, it appears Devon and Cornwall Police have a different interpretation of the law, which affords protection to people carrying sharp pointy things in connection with their work. Doubly disappointing is that the Crown Prosecution Service - top of the flops when it comes to serving the public interest - decided the case had sufficient merit to proceed with the prosecution.

Thankfully for Mr Drew the case collapsed when the CPS withdrew the case at the last minute due to having zero evidence.

Judge Paul Darlow criticised the CPS's lacklustre performance, saying: "I want to find out why we have got to the start of the trial and the CPS is suddenly saying 'Oops'.

"I do not think the CPS can escape criticism or blame if they leave it to the last minute to make up their minds. We despair of trying to run these courts in any sort of efficient way.

"We have had cases collapse on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Try telling this to jurors who come from their jobs and their homes, quite apart from any trial and trauma that Mr Drew has been through, by knowing that in October he would be in front of a jury."

Another damning example of how the police and CPS target the innocent, simply because they're more compliant and easier pickings than the guilty.

Useless bastards.

The Turd that Wouldn't Flush

Following the Prime Minister's latest Cabinet reshuffle corrupt politician and all-round dodgy geezer Peter Mandelson is back at the heart of the Labour Government.

Mandelson, who has spent the last 3-years in Brussels as EU trade commissioner, has rejoined the Government as Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform.

For those of you with short memories - worryingly that's quite a sizable chunk of the UK electorate - I shall quickly recap why Peter Mandelson has been forced to resign twice previously from Government.

In December 1998 Mandelson, then Secretary of State for Trade and Industry, bought a new home in the Notting Hill area of West London. The purchase was part-funded by a £373,000 loan from fellow dodgy Labour politician Geoffrey Robinson. Robinson was the then Paymaster General.

Mandelson's department, the now defunct DTI, was investigating one of Robinson's companies at the time of the loan - something Mandelson apparently didn't realise when he cashed the cheque. Mandelson also took out a mortgage on his new home, but omitted to tell the Britannia Building Society about the loan he had already received from Robinson. When questioned about his mortgage application Mandelson never could quite remember whether he'd declared the loan or not - fortunately the document ended up on the web, confirming to all his mortgage omission. Surprisingly, the Britannia were quite forgiving about the incident.

Mandelson was back in the Cabinet within a year, this time as Secretary of State for Northern Ireland. In January 2001 rumours surfaced that Mandelson was trying to pull strings at the Home Office, with regard to his mates the Hinduja brothers (more dodgy people) passport applications. Mandelson swore blind he was innocent of any wrongdoing, but he still resigned from Government a second time within the space of a fortnight. An independent enquiry later cleared Mandelson of any wrongdoing, but the mud stuck anyway given his previous misdemeanours.

The Conservatives have hit back angrily at Mandelson's latest resurrection to the Cabinet. William Hague, Shadow Foreign Secretary, said of the PM's decision: "In bringing back Peter Mandelson - the man who created Labour spin - he (Gordon Brown) has broken his promise to govern in an honest and open way."

Wispa Returns for Good

Apologies for being slow on the uptake but I've only just realised that the famous Cadbury's Wispa bar has made a comeback.

I used to love Wispas when I was younger. Not that there's anything uniquely tasty about them - I mean they're just Dairy Milk moulded in a different way - but their substantial, crumbly and bubbly texture stands them well ahead of inferior rivals like the Aero. In my opinion anyway.

I was pleased to see a whole display dedicated to the chocolaty classic in WHSmith's Newcastle Central Station store. The only slight disappointment was the price - 65 pence for a standard 30 gram Wispa bar. Slightly taking the piss methinks.

Here's some good news for Wispa fans. Cadbury Marketing Director Phil Rumbol has confirmed the future of Wispa: "The legendary success of the limited run proved that consumer passion for Wispa isn't limited to a small, core group. Thousands of fans have continued to showcase their love for Wispa across social networking sites. Consumers' loyalty to the brand deserves to be rewarded with its permanent return."

Wispa will be permanently relaunched across Britain and Ireland on Monday 8 October 2007 at a RRP of 45 pence (WHSmith take note).

Blair Resigns as Met Commissioner

Britain's top police officer, Sir Ian Blair, has resigned from his role as Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police.

The news broke yesterday afternoon that bumbling Sir Ian, who has presided over a series of calamaties during his time at Britain's largest police force, had decided to walk after being confronted by London Mayor Boris Johnson.

Boris, who is chairman of the Metropolitan Police Authority, is believed to have told Sir Ian that the Met needed new leadership in light of its previous failings, particularly with regard to the killing of Jean Charles de Menezes at Stockwell Road tube station in 2005.

The manner of Sir Ian's departure has attracted widespread criticism from the Government, who accuse Boris of playing politics with the capital's policing and bypassing procedure, which dictates that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith must make the final decision about hiring and firing.

More later...