News Knight

Sir Trevor McDonald in his natural habitat.

What is it about me and broadcasters recently? In the last month I've bashed the BBC and offered constructive criticism to local station Lionheart Radio. Today I have another big fish in my sights - ITV.

Last night I had the misfortune of tuning in to News Knight with Sir 'Trev' McDonald. It's kind of like a poor man's alternative to Have I Got News For You? The formats are suspiciously similar - in News Knight a panel of witty Z-list celebrities poke fun at the previous week's news and are kept in line by straight-laced Sir Trevor; in HIGNFY a panel of Z-list celebrities poke fun at the previous week's news and are kept in line by straight-laced Angus Deayton (or a guest presenter for more recent programmes). The similar formats might be explained by the fact that both shows are made by Hat Trick Productions.

But the transition from serious news reader to satirical humorist has not been an elegant one for Sir Trevor. He reads from the auto cue in much the same way he would News at Ten - generally monotonous with increased pitch, similar to the noise of a 50 cc scooter at full throttle, for occasional added emphasis. He hasn't got the same spontaneity of wit or on-screen charisma that Deayton and his successors display. I never thought I'd be commenting on the charisma of someone as smarmy as Deayton, but compared to Sir Trevor he is truly endearing to the audience. However much Sir Trevor tries to act cool - calling black comedian Reginald D. Hunter "brother" - he just ends up looking the joke. Speaking of jokes, he's no good at those either. The very first episode of News Knight attracted more than 200 complaints to Ofcom when Sir Trevor came out with a gag about recently-deceased comedian Bernard Manning in a section of the show titled 'Racist or Dead'. The maligned quip went something like this: "This week it's fat, narrow-minded comic Bernard Manning. I never thought he was a racist. I just thought he was a fat white bastard." Ouch.

Daily Mirror television critic Jim Shelley hit the nail on the head with this observation about Sir Trevor: "A legendary, great man, he's surely too dignified to be introducing sections like Saudis Do the Funniest Things, or Gay Or Blind?" Shelley is spot on. It is just wrong, in the same way it would be wrong for The Queen to enter a gurning competition, for Trevor McDonald to be fronting satirical toilet humour. The quicker ITV pull the plug the better.

A French Astronomy Lesson

A picture of the Sun orbiting the Earth.

I haven't got the stamina to write much today because I'm bogged down with other things. I just thought I'd tell you about this episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire on French TV. For those non-French speakers among us I shall set the scene. For EUR 3000 French astronomy boff Henri is posed the question "What is it that orbits around the Earth?" The four options he gets are A. The Moon, B. The Sun, C. Mars and D. Venus. Obviously struggling with this primary school question he decides to ask the studio audience. Big mistake.



With 56% of the audience incorrectly answering the Sun, I guess French education just isn't as good as it should be.

UK Forces Exhausted - CGS

Chief of the General Staff,
General Sir Richard Dannatt.

Britain's top Army Officer has warned that the nation's military reserves are "almost non-existent." The Chief of the General Staff (CGS), General Sir Richard Dannatt, expressed his stark concerns in a confidential internal memo leaked the the Daily Telegraph yesterday. I have previously commented on Sir Richard's refreshingly candid appraisal of the British Army's presence in Iraq. The leaked memo, under the hand of Sir Richard, was published in full in the Telegraph today. Since the document is now in the public domain I am able to publish it below for your perusal.

The leaked memo which was published
in full in today's Daily Telegraph.

Particularly worthy of note are the bolded comments which are of concern to the CGS, namely:

• Our reserves to meet the unexpected (as well as for current operations) are now almost non-existent.
• The long term effect on people and materiel of enduring operations at the current scale and intensity.

The vast majority of the British Army is now committed to either operations, training or leave. A single battalion equivalent known as the Spearhead Lead Element (SLE) is the only effective unit that remains in reserve to cover a homeland emergency or for rapid deployment overseas. The SLE's 500 troops will barely be able to scratch the surface of any impending crisis, so the Army really is flying on fumes. A second unit, known as the Airborne Task Force (ATF), although having a theoretical presence is severely weakened by a shortage of essential personnel and equipment. Much of the ATF's equipment has been redistributed to front line troops in either Iraq or Afghanistan.

Dr. Liam Fox, Shadow Secretary of State for Defence, said the lack of reserves was "an appalling situation and damning indictment" of the way the Government handled the Services. Dr. Fox, a former Army medical officer, continued that British Forces "are being asked to carry out tasks for which they are neither funded or equipped for. There is an urgent need to review our strategic approach because we cannot continue over-stretching our Forces."

Des Browne, Secretary of State for Defence, was too busy too comment on the unfolding military manpower crisis due to the commitments of his other job as Secretary of State for Scotland (joke).

Back into Focus

An interesting medical related story today in the form of a revolutionary new treatment for sufferers of myopia (short sightedness). Being short sighted myself I know what a nuisance it is not being able to focus correctly on objects any further than a few inches away. In the past I've worn contacts but nowadays I rely solely on my glasses. I think it's the convenience factor that made me choose glasses over contacts - the ability to just pick up my specs and plonk them on my head without messing around with their positioning or cleaning. Glasses have two main downsides in my experience - firstly they don't perform well in the rain because water droplets tend to stick to the lens; secondly they can be quite fragile so you've got to be careful when you're out and about. I remember once I was on the train home from Durham and my glasses flew apart as one of the screws decided to come away. I was crawling about the carriage floor on my hands and knees trying desperately hard to find the missing lens by feel alone. It's a disorienting experience I'd rather never repeat.

The new treatment is something called an Orthokeratological (Ortho K) lens. Basically it's a weighted plastic lens, not dissimilar to a contact in appearance, that is worn overnight and helps to flatten the cornea of the eye. When the lens is removed the following morning the flattened cornea is able to retain its shape over the course of the day. The lens is specially modelled by mapping the contours of the patient's eye. Unlike laser and surgical correction, both inherently risky procedures, the Ortho K prescription can be easily altered to accommodate future deterioration of the patient's vision.

Dr. Larry Benjamin of the Royal College of Opthalmologists described Ortho K as "a technique with proven benefit in people with a small amount of short sight." He also warned "however, in a small number of people there can be serious side affects such as an eye infection which can damage the vision." Patient Peter Todd was impressed by his Ortho K experience, saying "I'd heard the miracle stories - that you put them in one night and the next night you've got 20/20 vision. It's pretty close to that. I expected it to take some time but it's been very, very good."

Ortho K certainly looks like a promising non-invasive solution to myopia for the future.

Cash for Peerages Whitewash

News breaking tonight that the lengthy 'cash for peerages' investigation against the corrupt UK Labour government WILL NOT result in charges being brought against any individuals. Now there's a surprise.

The 16 month investigation, headed by DAC John Yates of the Metropolitan Police, questioned 136 people including, for the first time in history, the then serving Prime Minister Tony Blair. Yates handed a comprehensive dossier of evidence to the Crown Prosecution Service back in December 2006. Back then the rumour was that there was enough evidence to mount a prosecution but now the opinion's obviously different.

It's fair to say the investigation team didn't receive the full co-operation of the government back then, possibly leading to the compromised evidence now. So the government has gotten away with it again. Bugger.

NHS Trust Savagely Cuts Jobs

I pity the poor people in the Scarborough and North East Yorkshire NHS Trust area. The Trust has just announced that they're in the red to the tune of £30 million. They hope to reduce the deficit by making savings of £10 million this year. The only way they can achieve this target is by cutting jobs - ONE THIRD of the jobs in the Trust. The Trust administers Scarborough General and Bridlington Community Hospitals. Scarborough General is home to essential services like the Accident and Emergency Department, Coronary Care Unit and a specialised Stroke Unit. The nearest alternative facilities are 40 miles away in York, which is a long way for someone who has suffered a critical illness like a stroke or heart attack to have to travel.

In response to the job cuts Unison spokesman Ray Gray said "Job losses on this scale are completely unsustainable. It would devastate the NHS in this part of Yorkshire and have a profoundly damaging effect on the local economy. How the trust has ended up in this dire situation is a matter of grave concern and we are seeking urgent talks with the Secretary of State for Health to find a way of saving the jobs and the health service in the Scarborough district."

A message to the Secretary of State for Health, Alan Johnson - YOU MUST find the £30 million to wipe the slate clean at Scarborough and North East Yorkshire. Such a modest sum of money is a drop in the ocean to a large government body like the NHS - they could save it by adopting more prudent photocopying practices for only a few months - but it will make a huge difference to the care of the people of North Yorkshire.

BBC - The Great TV Swindle

You might remember last year I wrote about the BBC under the heading of 'Television Tax'. Back then I complained about the poor value for money TV license fee payers were receiving from the Corporation - the Corporation which, according to it's own 2005/2006 Annual Report, was causing young people to "turn off BBC television channels in disproportionately high numbers". The same report went on to say that fewer viewers are watching BBC1/2 and the decline is not compensated for by the growth of BBC3/4 audience figures - viewers are ditching the BBC in their droves. The license itself has to be held by every household that has a TV receiver or other equipment capable of recording or receiving television signals - that's regardless of whether or not there is actually a TV signal to receive. It originates from a time when television and radio were novelty gimmicks of the specially chosen few instead of an essential information and entertainment resource of daily life. The legislation imposing the fee, the Wireless Telegraphy Act of 1949, is antiquated and no longer fit for purpose. It was established as a supply of funding for the BBC long before the first commercial, predominantly self-funding, stations appeared on the air. I could go on for hours about the injustice of the fee - the way it penalises the elderly, vulnerable and young families - the very people who are in need of TV the most. Equally I could go on about the Stalinist tactics BBC contract whores Capita, responsible for enforcing the licensing requirements, use to exploit public ignorance of the law and to terrorise TV-owning and non TV-owning individuals alike.

Alas, that is for another time for today I am going to talk about, in the words of one of the BBC's own Panorama programmes, 'TV's Dirty Secrets'. Back then it was Jeremy Vine gleefully rubbing his hands together as the Corporation stuck the boot into national ITV franchise holder GMTV. GMTV stood accused of making huge premium rate telephone profits by closing competition lines well after the winners had already been decided. Today it is the BBC, the UK's (allegedly) 'flagship' broadcaster, who stand in the dock accused of dishonesty to their viewers. It all stems back to the most unlikely of origins - long running children's TV series Blue Peter. Back on 27th November 2006 Blue Peter ran a competition called 'Whose Shoes' in which viewers had to match a pair of shoes to their celebrity owner (well Bradley from EastEnders, so not even a proper celeb). More than 13,000 callers rang the competition line but a technical failure meant a winner couldn't be chosen. Quick thinking production staff, not wanting to look like complete arses on live TV, got a child visitor to the studio to pretend to be the winner live on air. After all this duplicitous behaviour came to light Ofcom fined the BBC £50,000 (of license payers money) and made them broadcast a grovelling apology. The BBC also launched its own investigation to see if their had been other similar occurrences. In response to their investigation the BBC today released details of six other occasions where viewers had been misled about the result of phone-in competitions. Quoting from the BBC News website, these occasions were:

• Comic Relief - 16 March 2007 on BBC1

In a section of the appeal programme, viewers were invited to donate money to Comic Relief and were informed that by calling in, they could win prizes that belonged to a famous couple. The first two callers taken on air gave incorrect answers. The other waiting callers were lost and a third caller was heard on air successfully answering the question. This caller was in fact not a viewer but a member of the production team.

• TMI - 16 September 2006 on BBC2 and CBBC

Following a production problem with a live competition, viewers were led to believe that a member of the audience was involved and won a competition open to the public. In fact, the caller was a member of the production team. The programme team failed to seek proper advice before running the competition.

• Sport Relief - 15 July 2006 on BBC1

Viewers were led to believe that a member of the public was involved in and won a competition open to the public, whereas the caller was in fact a member of the production team. The BBC has found evidence that this action was planned as a contingency in advance and that the physical infrastructure of the competition meant that it would have been impossible for it to be run as was described on air, and warnings about potential difficulties in conducting the competition were ignored. This incident was not referred up nor was it declared to a BBC audit in March.

• Children in Need - 18 November 2005 on BBC1 Scotland

In a segment called Raven: The Island in the BBC's Children in Need appeal's Scotland broadcast in 2005, viewers were led to believe that a phone-in competition, open to the audience, had been won by a viewer. In fact, due to a technical mistake, calls from the public did not get through and the name of a fictitious winner was read out on air.

• The Liz Kershaw Show - 2005/6 on BBC 6 Music

In pre-recorded programmes, presented as if they were live, a competition was announced that appeared to feature genuine listeners phoning in to take part, one of whom would win a prize on air. In fact, in recorded programmes, there were no competitions or prizes and all of the callers were actually members of production team and their friends. A new producer took over the programme in December 2006 and stopped the practices as a matter of priority.

• White Label - World Service until April 2006

A weekly pop music preview programme on the English Service. On more than one occasion, a fake winner was announced for the CD prize when no winning entries had actually been received.

Looking at the list above it is clear that the BBC has habitually misled its audience and competition entrants. These findings come in the same week that the BBC was forced to apologise over clips of a documentary about the Royal Family that gave the misleading impression that the Queen had walked out of a portrait session with a photographer.

BBC Director General Mark Thompson, in trying to draw a line under the subject, said in a statement "We will regard deception as a very grave breach of discipline. It will normally lead to dismissal. Accuracy, fair mindedness, fair dealing with contributors and with the public all matter much more than production value. Compliance with our values and our editorial standards is not voluntary or a nice-to-have. It is essential."

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Silver Ring Thing Ruling

Last month I mentioned the case of Lydia Playfoot. Lydia decided to take High Court action against her school because it forbade her from wearing her 'purity' ring. Lydia cried discrimination because her school made an exception to their uniform policy by allowing Sikh and Muslim children to wear religious bangles. Perhaps it's because Christianity doesn't actually require the wearing of rings?

What I didn't mention at the time and perhaps I should have done is that Lydia's parents, Heather and Phil, are both senior members of the Silver Ring Thing here in the UK - that's the same Silver Ring Thing that sells these rings and pushes the idea of outwardly displaying your sexual purity and abstinence. What possible reason could they have of wanting to make an example of the school in question? I'll leave you to join the dots.

Anyway, I am glad to report that common sense has prevailed and the Judge has ruled against the Playfoots. Lydia expressed her disappointment and said the ruling meant "that slowly, over time, people such as school governors, employers, political organisations and others will be allowed to stop Christians from publicly expressing and practising their faith." What a ludicrous suggestion.

Boris for Mayor!

One of my favourite MPs, Boris Johnson, has finally decided to confirm his candidacy for the London Mayoral Elections. After weeks of 'will he or won't he?' speculation Boris has finally confirmed to the Evening Standard what we all suspected - "The opportunity is too great and the prize too wonderful to miss... the chance to represent London and speak for Londoners." Just a few moments ago the following press release was published on his personal website:

"I am happy to confirm that I have today put my name forward to be the Conservative Candidate for London Mayor.

I have been overwhelmed by the support I have received from so many people across London. I intend to remain an MP and will continue to represent the people of Henley, as I have done since 2001. I have, however, resigned from the frontbench as Shadow Minister for Higher Education with immediate effect.

London is an outstandingly varied and beautiful place and it deserves a proper debate. I want to bring fresh ideas to the Capital and offer a new direction for Londoners. I believe that the Mayor of London should keep things simple and direct his or her intellectual energy at the core problems that affect people's everyday lives. I look forward to announcing my detailed proposals later in the summer, should I be fortunate enough to be shortlisted by the Conservative Party.

Even the greatest cities have further greatness in them. I will stand for a greater London and for putting the smile back on London's face."

Boris, MP for Henley since 2001, has made quite a name for his no nonsense, often controversial commentary on a diverse range of issues. Back in October 2004 the Spectator Magazine, with Johnson as editor, ran an article criticising a perceived trend to mawkish sentimentality by the public. As an example the article said that the people of Liverpool, home to recently murdered British hostage Ken Bigley, were wallowing in "vicarious victimhood" and had a "deeply unattractive psyche." Although Johnson wasn't responsible for the article, he became the fall guy for it and to this day some Liverpudlians remain resentful towards him. In April 2007 he alienated the entire population of Portsmouth by proclaiming it "one of the most depressed towns in Southern England, a place that is arguably too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs."

But do not let the bumbling persona deceive you - Oxford educated Boris is no-one's fool. He enjoys huge popularity among Conservative Party members and the general public alike. He has also attracted a large student following in his role as Shadow Minister for Higher Education. Johnson has also appeared as a guest on popular TV shows like Top Gear and Have I Got News For You (below).



Good luck Boris. I'm with you!

Lionheart Radio Roars Onto the Airwaves

Another FreeFoto classic - a view of
Alnwick Castle from the Lion Bridge.

...or should that be murmurs?

A couple of weeks back our part of the world, the beautiful rural district of Alnwick in Northumberland, got their very own community radio station. Lionheart Radio, so called because of Alnwick's close association with the Duke of Northumberland whose family emblem is a lion, has been broadcasting from brand new studios in The Centre on the town's Fenkle Street. Lionheart is no stranger to the district's listeners having previously held four temporary licences to broadcast from the broom cupboard in the town's Northumberland Hall. The current 5-year licence, granted by Ofcom back in late 2005, safeguards the station's position as a semi-permanent focal point for local residents.

Lionheart got off to a bumpy start with a technical failure of their expensive shiny new console. Luckily all the technical problems were fixed in time for a midsummer's day switch-on which took the form of the live OB from Alnwick Market Place. Listening to Lionheart today and viewing their website over the last few days I can't help but think there's a few things missing. Firstly, hopefully just a temporary glitch, they were broadcasting in mono as I listened in the car earlier this evening. Mono just doesn't cut the mustard, especially when you've got regional broadcast giants like Metro, Century and Galaxy pumping out a high quality stereo signal. They also rip their news from IRN which is fair enough, but it wouldn't take too much effort to have someone local read the news and add a few district snippets. The website, although fulfilling its role, is a pretty basic HTML template and is very sparsely populated. It is further detracted from by the fact that the live online stream isn't working. As for broadcast content there's not enough proper music. Every time I listen I'm hit by blues or jazz, when I should be hearing a mix of genres with a leaning toward contemporary pop and easy listening. There's a need for some more high brow conversation and listener interaction - a kind of Tom Jackson On Air perhaps?

Despite being nit-picky in the paragraph above it's fair to say I quite like Lionheart. It has an amateurish rustic charm rather like a comfortable, battered old pair of shoes. The idea that anyone can chip in and contribute, perhaps leading to their big break on the radio ladder, is an appealing concept. The no frills, no airs and graces style of broadcast gives the impression of sharing a cosy cup of tea with the presenter. It is a reassuring addition to the airwaves and I imagine most of the locals have their radios pretuned.

If you're in our part of the world you can check out Lionheart Radio yourself by tuning to 107.3 MHz FM. Hopefully coming soon to a broadband connection near you!

Arriva Cross Country

The distinctive Virgin livery will soon be a distant memory on the
Cross Country rail route. Image from FreeFoto.

The Department for Transport today announces that the winner of the new Cross Country rail franchise is Arriva Trains. Arriva, who currently operate Welsh regional services, will take over the route on 11th November 2007. The Cross Country network, which straddles the UK from Penzance, Bournemouth and Southampton in the south to Edinburgh, Dundee and Aberdeen in the north, is currently operated by Virgin Trains.

Tony Collins, Virgin Rail Group's Chief Executive, expressed the company's disappointment at the decision. Mr. Collins said "We are understandably extremely disappointed at today’s announcement and will be seeking an early meeting with the DfT to understand why we were unsuccessful. Our bid was extremely competitive, built on our experience of operating the Cross Country franchise for the last ten years, during which time we almost doubled the number of passengers and increased performance to regularly exceed 90%. We attempted to strike a balance between an affordable and deliverable deal for the taxpayer, and continuing the high quality customer service that Virgin Cross Country has created."

Rail Minister Tom Harris reinforced the DfT's decision by saying "We (the DfT) have secured an excellent deal with Arriva. Not only are they delivering an even bigger increase in capacity than we asked for, they are doing it a year earlier than expected. I am especially pleased that the new franchisee will connect some of our biggest cities even more effectively. This will benefit both business and leisure travelers."

Details of the franchise agreement are below:

• The provision of 40 extra carriages from the old HST rolling stock. The carriages will be refurbished to a similar standard to those of the current Voyager fleet.
• Modification of the Voyager fleet to include more seats and more luggage space.
• Increased on board staff visibility.
• The introduction of a web-based 'print at home' ticketing system.
• Refurbishment of Class 170 DMUs on the Birmingham to Stansted and Cardiff to Nottingham services.
• A 25% reduction in delay minutes compared to Virgin.

Furthermore a new compensation system will be introduced to bring season ticket holders on par with single and return ticket holders. Look forward to a nice new paint job on a train near you!

Cooking on Gas

Ah ha, what do I see before me? It's an ordinary, innocuous looking gas cylinder. There's nothing particularly exciting about it apart from this particular specimen happens to be painted green. Coincidentally it's the same sort of gas cylinder that amateur terrorists tried to use to blow up parts of London and Glasgow last week. On Radio 4's PM programme this evening people were actually suggesting that because of their potential to be used as weapons cylinders like this should only be supplied to specially licensed or registered individuals. This is despite the fact that it isn't particularly easy to detonate cylinder, aptly demonstrated over the past few days, due to all the inbuilt safety features. Talk about a knee jerk reaction.

Next on Tom's Wishlist

I've just got to get myself one of these! You might think I'm a bit big to be playing on a kiddie's games console (you'd be right) but after my first interaction with the Nintendo Wii I'm absolutely hooked. I know I've been slow to catch on. At the weekend I spent a few hours playing ten pin bowling, golf and tennis on Wii Sports. The graphics aren't great but the whole interaction between gamer and game is unsurpassed by anything but the real thing. It's pretty energetic too by my standards. After a few lagers my competitive streak was really coming to the fore and I was swinging the controller with all the enthusiasm I could muster. At times my frantic arm thrashing was perilously close to the TV screen and my fellow competitors. I can understand Nintendo's concerns a few months about people accidentally breaking wrist straps and hurling controllers during in game bouts of vigour!

Just goes to show simple pleasures for simple minds!

Smoke Free Britain

... apart from all the bombs that is!

The 1st of July represented the coming to force of the Health Act 2006. Chapter 28 of the Act makes it an offence to smoke in a confined public space, for people to smoke in their place of work and for people to smoke in a place that members of the public might visit to receive goods or service. Smoking is defined as being in possession of any form of tobacco which is lit, regardless of whether it enters your lips or not.

This is sensible legislation. By making smoking that little bit more tricky it will hopeful deter people from starting and might persuade the 'few a day' smoker to reconsider. I heard someone on the news, obviously a smoker, arguing that it was no more dangerous than alcohol - a completely absurd argument completely missing the point that innocent non-smokers are being killed every single day by breathing secondhand smoke.

It beats me why anyone would want to rot their mind, their teeth, their clothing and smell worse than the smelliest of urinals in the scruffiest of nightclubs anyway!