Which One's The Biggest Chopper?

Is it (a) Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth, or (b) a Chinook.

The professional head of Britain's Armed Forces has backed claims that troops in Afghanistan are struggling due to a lack of equipment.

The Chief of Defence Staff, Air Chief Marshall Sir Jock Stirrup, said that an increased number of helicopters would "increase tactical flexibility" and make "more unpredictable your movements become to the enemy."

Contradicting Government claims to the contrary, Sir Jock added: "Therefore it is quite patently the case that you could save casualties by doing that."

Sir Jock's comments come the day after the influential Commons Defence Select Committee warned a shortage of helicopters was undermining the "protection" of forces in Afghanistan.

The outgoing head of the British Army, General Sir Richard Dannatt, said earlier this week that "more boots on the ground" were the key to success in the troubled Helmand province of the country.

Sir Richard is thought to have prepared a shopping list of requirements, which were presented to the Prime Minister earlier today.

Sir Richard, who won the Military Cross just a year after graduating from Sandhurst, is held in very high regard by troops on the ground.

His forthright approach is not appreciated by the Government who, according to the Daily Telegraph, plan to smear his unblemished reputation when he retires from the Army in August.

Interesting Question Time Panelist

Just watching the BBC's Question Time programme this evening.

I see they've got Chris Bryant MP as one of the panelists.

Interesting choice.

Fishy Tactics

Some unscrupulous fish and chip shops stand accused of passing off Vietnamese cobbler as cod.

The cobbler, an ugly looking type of catfish, has white flesh and flavour very similar to our resident seaside staple. Once coated in batter it looks virtually the same as cod, although it comes in at less than half the wholesale price.

The credit crunch has forced some fish and chip shops to employ sneaky cod impersonation tactics to bolster their floundering profits.

But it's a false economy with offenders facing a fine of up to £20,000 under the Food Safety Act.

The first case of fish malpractice was uncovered at the Cat Hill fish bar in Bromsgrove, Worcestershire. The owner was fined £8,000 plus costs, reduced to £4,000 plus costs after an appeal.

John Dell, of Worcestershire Trading Standards, said: "We discovered the fraud after a woman contacted us convinced that the fish she had been served wasn't cod. We conducted tests and eventually found it was pangasius (cobbler).

"There is nothing wrong with this fish and it is widely available here in supermarkets and restaurants. People have been looking for more sustainable fish species to protect cod stocks. But if pangasius is sold, it has to be labelled as such. It cannot just be substituted for cod. That is not fair on the customer or to other local businesses in competition with the fraudster."

Many fish and chip shops sell cheaper cod alternatives, which must be clearly labelled as such.

Next Week at PMQs

I've snaffled this from Iain's blog in case any of you non-Dale readers have missed it:

David Cameron (DC): What day is it today?
Gordon Brown (GB): Typical. Can't ask a question about policy. I'll tell you what Tory policy is on days of the week. They want to cut them. They want to cut Thursdays now and if they get in power, they will cut Saturdays as well.

DC: What colour is the sky?
GB: The Tory party is the only party in the world that wants to cut the sky. We have invested in the sky. We have brought forward spending on the sky and increased it by 0% whereas he would cut it by 0% year on year adjusted for real capital spending inflation.

DC: What time is it?
GB: That is up to the Chancellor to decide. I had nothing to do with it.

DC: Should Freddie Flintoff open the bowling at Cardiff tomorrow?
GB: If the pitch, if the pitch, if the pitch takes off cutters and that is the Tory policy. To bowl off cutters, 10% off cutters, from Mr 10%. Yes, you may laugh, but it is his policy. And I ask him, would he prefer to have Ryan Sidebottom bowling his left arm swing up the hill and into the wind?

DC: Do bears crap in the woods?
GB: Bear crapping has risen under this Labour government year on year where it fell under the previous Tory administration. We have invested in crap while they cut it. The previous government, of which he was an advisor, cut crap year on year while we have increased crap year on year in real terms since 1997. The party opposite is the only serious party in the world that is opposed to us increasing crap.

DC: Are you a liar?
GB: Of course I am. Can't think why you didn't just ask that question in the first place.

Credit where credit's due - this post came from one of Iain's commenters, Fragmeister.

Judging by the woeful performance I mentioned yesterday anything is possible!